Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Last blogged @ 6/14/2006 10:15:00 PM

vEry very upset!!!....:<

My team is very chaos today!! it started off with 4 admissions at one go n i cant even have time to check through all the charts.. although my ward have students but still is very messy.. everybody is running here n there.. it happened also when i was in team 1.. n in the end, my senior staff nurse is the one who helped me to complete the charting.. i felt so lousy.. I just kept telling myself that tomorow will be a better day.. But today is like so... I controlled n controlled my tears and kept telling myself to go on.. until my preceptor (trainer) came to ask me how was i, and that's when i burst into tears.. I was really very stress.. Especially the parameters was so messy.. some are not taken n some only write the time but never record or do the parameter.. it makes thing difficult for me and my staff nurse.. But i cant put all the blames on the students cuz they r still learning n i was a student b4 also..

I was very upset.. Then all my seniors came to me consolling and offered help.. but i refused.. it is my responsibility.. I think one of my senior staff nurse knew bout it.. cuz when i was in the staff room she just came in and had a firm grip on my shoulder but still she asked what had happened.. i said nothing.. i was still in tears.. den i tried to calm myself down by eatin banana.. but still cannot.. tears kept rolling down.. I don wan to appear or show tat i m a crybaby or wat.. but i just simply cant control myself.. i am tooooo disappointed in myself.. one word to describe my current feeling is "FUCK".. damn fcuk... how sia?? I really hope is temporary.. everyday felt so stress.. whereas my other friend seems to be quite ok.. haiz!!~~~