Saturday, September 30, 2006
Last blogged @ 9/30/2006 12:16:00 AM

fElt e Changes wiThIn me...

After receiving christ, i really felt the changes in me.. Before my acception of God, i did felt very insecure, pressurized and tired due to my work, family, financial, relationships between him and hEr's.. I started to pray upon God when she told me to try praying to God of what i facing and i want from him.. And i did.. Having the truth in God that he would rescue me, he really did! I remembered that i was in very stressed up period when i just started to work as a Assistant Nurse during May to July this year.. So when i got to meet up with her during july, she really encourage me to have faith in Jesus Christ.. And after that, i started to pray more to Jesus Christ every nite as in wanting him to help me remove the stress i had in work and manage to cope the workload in time, (2) giving me directions to have a wise decision of my relationship with jianmin, (3) to manage my financial more wiser.. In the month of August, i started to feel light minded and able to give more smiles to my colleagues and patients.. And eventually i did not feel any stress at all.. it was really a miracle! as i never thought that it will resolve that fast.. God also gave me directions, to having me comparing the love between me and mdm lydia and the differences.. Indeed i do see that he is not that interested in me that much more, didnt want to meet me for months with excuses, requesting only physical needs whenever he is online whic i hate most.. although he still claimed that he loved me but i don feel it.. Instead the love between me and mdm lydia has convinced me that he is not that serious with me as the efforts is not seen...

I finally able to LET IT GO peacefully!!!... Praise God!

Is definitely a relief.. but our status is unclear.. but it doesnt matter to me anymore.. From here, i realised that my love for hEr's has definitely grow deeper..

Thru hEr's, i really experience the true love which happiness flow within me, contented loves.. She's e most worthy love i ever encounter compared to him.. Is a miracle + fate! Praise God!
Amen.

Although i didnt get to meet her today as she was not around in AH.. but i am contented enough that we had numbers of meet up previously.. God had reassured me.