Monday, January 15, 2007
Last blogged @ 1/15/2007 11:56:00 PM

Searching for me again...

Yes... is him again.. contacted me back again these few days... he had opened a new friendster account and has added me, karen and other friends also.. it took a while to think whether to accept him or not... so i decided to approve his "application". Mainly because i doesnt want to label him as enemy or 'desert friend'.. And again, i have also a fire wall when chatting with him in msn.. i kept asking bout his ex-gf and ask what they have done.. At the same time, i was sarcastic with my words too.. wanted him to reflect what he have done all these while and sound quite of undirect to him that he is foolish.. But in the end, in half hour time, he cannot tolerate of what i say and gave a foolish reason that he is not feeling well and want to go sleep le.. of course i did not entertain him by saying 'bye', i just simply close the conversation and change my status to busy mode.. well.. i will not expect him to accept what i told him now cuz i know his mind still in playful and 'wanting' mode.. but i will keep him in my prayers that God's able to change his attitude towards relationship and his mindset.. Pray in Jesus name that he will be free from deprive of sex drives..

Well.. didnt get to meet her today cuz i was attending Service Quality Refreshment course till bout 4.30pm and she is in campus to do her stuffs.. but i really do hope that we are able to meet this week.. Misses her very much already... Wanted to see her badly sia.. haha... That's the power of love!! Although the last met was during my november birthday till now which is 2 months le, i really misses her alot and will be very happy to hear if she is out to clinical teaching again..

These 2 days, i have a very strong feeling telling me something... it seems like something great... but still i will need lots of courage to ask her.. i also dont know whether am i able to speak out upon seeing her?? big challenge ok... I have realised why i wanted so much to ask her this question because if i just assume our close relationship without aknowledgement, she may still regard me as her student and i will have the barrier of avoiding contacting her too often which i am experiencing now... i felt myself quite nuisance at times when she is unreachable.. I really do hope that she will be open and i am sure both of us knows that we are special to each other.. I am sure of this because she verbalised to me before over the phone that i am indeed very special in remembering her birthday although she is just a common teacher to each student eyes... And to me, she is special for all reasons.. i strongly believe this is our fate to know each other because a common teacher of her can simply caught my full attention and greatly impact in my life.. or another word to describe her is my "benefactor".. not in terms of money but my downs period of time..

Thanks God. Amen.