Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Last blogged @ 10/24/2007 11:11:00 PM

Happy and Sad things to share....

Well i got home at around 8pm and followed by my brother.. together with my mum, we are having dinner at the living room... As i was washing my face, my brother suddenly raised his voice at mum's.. As my mum mentioned to him that not to attend cousin-in-law wedding as in not to kpo bout it, and keep emphasizing to him to work as it is PH ma den have double pay.. Therefore, he was very piss off and talk back to her why he cannot attend the wedding and why must he work that day?? Mum's simply answered that I dont like them(relatives) and so i dont want you to involve also!!.. Practically the whole family of mine knows that she is very biases toward my father's side relative due to a few incidents caused by my grandfather... resulting in deep anger, resentment and sadness... Definitely my brother couldnt see all these hidden emotions in mum's. And because of these arguments, my bro's started to poured out his anger and difficulty in a stern manner toward mum's.. He just wanted mum's to understand his situation in term of financial issue... but instead my mum keeps perceive in a hateful way that she thinks both of us hates her... As i started to voice out and explain it to my mum's of what my bro's meant, she cried. I saw my bro' tears in his eyes when i explain to my mum's of what he been struggling these few years that he need to work n studies at the same time for the sake of daily expenses... I told her it is because of his sensible that he goes out to work part time and do not want to burden mum's financial as he knows mum's could not afford to give him allowances anymore.. BUT, it is suppose to make things better.... She perceive it another way again that we wanted money so much from her that she wanted to wash her hands off us.. haiz... the more she tears... And i shut my mouth... There her turn to pour out her anger and sadness that i mumbled to my bro's that not to talk back as it will aggravate... However, it is a endless topic.. everybody is hurt and anger... except me.

I have realized that all my hurts and anger had been carried away by God because I didnt shout and use harsh tone on her this time...!! Instead, my heart filled with compassion for bro's n mum's... WHat i see the reaction of my bro's now is the reaction I had previously whenever i n mum's talk bout money issue... exactly the same... He said what i said previously:"I really feel like moving out"!! As usual, mum's threatened to jump down and wanting to divorce with dad's cuz she been tolerating.. instead my bro's rebuke her, "NO, i go jump down instead"! Haiz...

I am happy that I no longer felt resentment towards my mum but more to be improved of our relationship... Sad is money issue always hurts everyone in the family... I believed God had already working in my family althought there are quarrels... but i sensed that something is going to happen that God using this chance to show His power, glory and His truth in my family... I have to PERSERVER!!! I praise God for open both my parents heart as i bring them to attend a Hokkien service last week... Pastor's preached about forgiveness which is just for them lor... God is really doing something in my parents...

Being the LIGHT in my family is not easy.. rejection is always what I heard... I will stand still and firm as I am not alone fighting the issue but with spirit of God!! Amen!